Originally Posted by anotherbo
Closer to the second ~OR~, River.
When I met my (now ex) wife, I realized that a deep emotional bond is what I really had being needing in my relationships with women; and having this emotional intimacy really fueled our sexual connection, which was the most intense in my life so far.
Beforehand I was basically thinking of women as sex objects, and didn't value them appropriately. Similar to how my thinking has been in the recent past about men. And I think finding an emotional intimacy with a man would similarly fuel my desire for sexual intimacy. I'm open to that now in a way I haven't been before.
Its only in the last few months that my attitudes have been changing in this respect. Being grossed out by kissing or cuddling or the idea of falling in love with a man, these are already things of the past; I guess my earlier posts didn't make that clear. Even the idea that I might someday consider a man to be "my boyfriend" would have seemed strange to me a couple months ago; now I contemplate this possibility happily.
As for the types of men's groups you mentioned, I have some confused mixed feelings about the idea. But I can't seem to sort out the 'why' of it right now.
Thanks for the continuing input!
I would like some gay/bi/queer men to comment on my thread in the new to poly forum, "What is this?". I think it would be really beneficial to me to get the take of gay men on my relationship.
Basically, I am the wing in a FMM Vee. I have a deep need for emotional intimacy, but not so deep a need for sex. My primary satisfies my deep emotional needs thoroughly... because my primary identifies as a gay man, we are abstinent and I have no expectations of that changing. We don't have any less of a 'relationship' however because of the lack of sex. If anything we are even more emotionally connected.