I am the woman that Vinccenko is referring to in the post. Thanks for the post and all of the responses. My husband and I had a long and revealing talk yesterday as most of them have been in recent weeks. I shared a lot of what I gathered from these posts.
Part of the problem has been that when we entered into an open relationship, he did not really educate himself about the dynamics. I did and do and then report back. So the education piece that GroundedSpirit referred to is important to me for all parties. In part because I like some structure and guidelines in my life but more importantly this is heavy emotional stuff that can't be dealt with willy nilly, in my opinion. Though we do not have a set date for when we are going to meet, we are at least in a better place with understanding why it needs to happen sooner rather than later.