Life is what it is. More people need to remember this.
We can't control what other people do around us. For the most part we can't control what people say on this forum. We can, however, control how we react to what those other people are saying and doing.
I really enjoy this forum, the insight, the thoughtfulness, the differing personalities and attitudes, the totally different perspectives coming from so many different people....
What I don't like is that with so many different people and perspectives there's bound to be drama at some point in time. I try to stay out of this drama. I try not to let it suck me in. I try to remain neutral or not reply to the drama threads at all.
Now, on to some happier stuff.
Breathes had an interview yesterday! YAY! He's been unhappy in his current job for quite a while. The laughter and fun has gone out of his eyes. His mouth and body are saying all the right things but his eyes tell the truth of where he is truly at. Yesterday was the first day in a very long time that he has been really happy and all it took was an interview!
I've felt guilty over the last few months. Guilty that I have another partner and he doesn't. Guilty that I've found someone I love and love to be with just as much as I love and love to be with Breathes.
I was able to talk to Breathes about it yesterday. I had finally figured out what the little niggling feeling in the back of my brain was telling me. To my surprise he's had the same feelings when it's been him with another partner and me without. He pointed out that if it were really bothering him he does have a FWB that he could go to if he felt the need. She's not my favorite person, doesn't even make the top 100, but he does have someone to turn to if he finds he needs those needs met. That makes me feel a bit better. What would make me feel 1000% better would be for him to have another partner.
I realize that finding another partner isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, especially for people who don't necessarily get out and about and do things just for the sake of doing something. I'm going to do this today if it kills me!
There's a fireman's challenge downtown today. I was supposed to go with a friend, unfortunately it's during the hours she has to work *sigh*. I'm going to pack up the camera, grab a backpack and go have some single fun! BTW the cam is so my friend can live it vicariously, not to mention I can then poke fun at her, lol. Besides, who doesn't want pix of some hunky firemen, or women, on their computer? lol
Possibility....where to start? He's just totally awesome! He's so patient, loving and kind! He chose me to have as another partner
. I'm so glad he did. At first he was just so very shy and nervous. His shyness and nervousness was very endearing in the beginning...cute even. As he's gotten more comfortable around me he's been able to relax more. What drives me nuts though is he's a severe multitasker. His brain goes in a thousand different directions, and his body wants to follow, at the same time so it's hard for him to settle down to one thing. It's not the multitasking so much as it is the lack of attention that bothers me.
I have discovered the trigger, or one of them any way, to send him into submissive mode where his mind calms down and he's able to really relax and concentrate on one task at a time. I'm really looking forward to bringing him to his knees on Monday
, calming him down and really getting into things we've only talked about so far. We're going to get our freak on! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mmmmmmmmmm my two loves who are second only to my kids in my heart
. Does it get any better than this? Only time will tell I guess & I'm very eager to continue on this journey of self discovery and joint discovery.
Every time I have a chance to look within myself I discover that I've come so very far in the last nearly six years! I've gone from an emotionally & mentally battered woman who didn't think she deserved happiness to a self confident woman who KNOWS she deserves happiness & woe-betide anyone who tells her different!
It's been a hard road to become the woman I am but ya know what? I'd do it all over again if it meant I would like and love myself as no one else can or does. Self confidence is a wonderful thing, no?