Thread: Confused
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Old 10-07-2010, 06:41 PM
Derbylicious's Avatar
Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

On the bright side of having people in your child's life who don't see things as you do will teach him that people have different opinions and will (hopefully) teach him to think for himself. Your son isn't going to think anything, regardless of what happens, because however he is brought up will be his normal. I'm so glad that you're putting the needs of your child first. I had a lot of the same worries about my kids. I wanted to give them a nice "normal" life. But so far they seem to be happy and well adjusted and taking it all in stride. My 4 year old understands it as "some of your friends are more like family". As long as everyone is being respectful and there is some stability for the children I think all is well.

As for entering into a marriage as monogamous, I think you're right, if you're not poly and didn't sign up for this then it's an awful lot to ask that you accept it. There are a lot of people who wouldn't have entered into the marriages that they are in, for a variety of reasons, if they had a crystal ball.

As people grow and change things about their marriages change too. Sometimes it brings people closer together and sometimes it tears them apart. There is no easy or instant answer for you. Be very clear with you wife what you can and can't handle right now and leave things open to discussion and revisit where you are at least once a month. If neither of you are able to move from where you are then it's time to re-evaluate staying married.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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