Originally Posted by redpepper
Ha! awesome. I wish it were that simple. I can't imagine my men cooing over me that way. Usually I don't get a word in edge wise when we are all together or when they know I'm upset I get stared down in silence. heh
I don't have a one vagina policy, but it seems to of come down to that at the moment. I don't find it very respectful to request that. After all I have more than one love, why should the option of them having more than one not be an option. It only seems fair to me.
Mono enjoys just me but PN would find another if he could. A few chances at love, but no success. Mono likes what he has, but PN misses out on lovin'. He needs more time from me, more intimacy, more touch, more talk, more connection... I can't give him that because I have Mono and Derby in my life (etc). I have some guilt over that, but have to trust that he is okay and the work we do to stay connected is paying off.
I struggle to be okay with the amount of time and energy I have for him... I would be really surprised if you found TWO women that would be satisfied with the everyday, day to day life that it comes down to in a poly dynamic without one or both of them eventually needing more than you have time for... I would be surprised if they would be okay with your boundary of them having no other lovers until the end of time.
still, it may be possible and I wish you luck.
RP - !
Wow - I struggle with the EXACT thing you posted in the end. If I open Pandora's Polyamory box, knowing my honest expectation that I couldn't (while being truthful to myself) be okay with them seeing anyone else, still want to open it. Its a huge risk - even if my wife is completely content, will this new woman be? Thats a tough sell, because although I come across as a OPP kind of guy, I also respect women, and wouldn't want to oppress someone else to fit into "my" mold.
The problem, as you have identified, is that one big "IF". I cannot say if/when the time comes to take action, I would even choose to do so. Let alone the fact that I could jeopardize my great relationship with my wife, but also the unknown feelings and relationship with a new woman.
If you have the answer, please share! I am all ears.