Originally Posted by Sorrolyn
Directly from James here is what he has to say:
"Does the loneliness go away when one partner is with another? If it doesn't does talking to someone else (a potential second) help the situation or is physical contact needed? How rare is it to find a "unicorn"(A female that would be interested in this arrangement) and should I just expect to never find one and be OK with it? Am I doing this wrong? I understand this all varies from person to person but I would just like to hear from people that may have experienced this. "
I've found that the surest cure for loneliness is to go out and do things. When Breathes (my primary) is busy with someone else I spend time with my kids, go out with friends, take a bubble bath with candle & a book, enjoy some quiet time, work on a hobby I don't have much time for when he's around. When I'm with Possibility (my secondary) Breathes will go out with friends, write, enjoy alone time, whatever he feels he needs to do at that point in time.
We've been together 5 1/2 years & non-monogamous the whole time. We would love it if we found that mythical & oh-so-sought-after unicorn but the reality is that there aren't an awful lot of women (or men) who are bi-sexual and want to be locked into a relationship where they can't see others as well. Keep your options open for MORE than just the elusive unicorn.
There are as many different ways of doing polyamoury as there are people practicing it so there is really no wrong way of doing it as long as all participants (and their other partners) are consenting adults.