Anyways I knew right away I wanted to date L. He was funny, sweet and cute! We made jokes about him never dating a white girl before and me never dating a black guy before but that is about as far as that conversation went because basically since it was the first time I was meeting him, I made sure he was very aware that if I went missing, so would he... (Okay I totally exaggerated and brought pepper spray but a girl has to be safe right?) PS i promise I don't often run around with people I don't know in the middle of the night. Only when I am very very bored :P
Anyways the next day i start talking to my husband(m), asking him what he thinks how he feels and that I would like to date L. I asked him to think about it, pulled out our list of boundaries and talked about what I hoped both relationships would give to me and both of them. He seemed okay with it but I think at first he thought something had happened- so I had to explain that I didn't do anything, but the thought crossed my mind so I wanted to talk to him about it.
Now comes the interesting part. This was a little bit of a whirlwind for me. The next time L and I hung out I asked him what he thought about poly relationships, he didn't know what it meant so I explained as best as I could. We talked a lot about his past relationships (he identifies as mono) and what he needs and wants in a relationship but we left it at that. The next day we hung out again and I asked him if he was interested in maybe dating me... He was super hesitant (remember when I said I over exaggerated ?, well that scared the crap out of him!) but said he was interested and wanted to talk to my husband to make sure it was 100% okay with him.
More talking, negotiation etc went on but all parties seemed (or at least verbalized) they were okay with the situation, so down to the clinic we went to get tests (part of our rules).. We hung out a lot and I got to experience NRE again, but since I had read about it I made extra effort in ensuring my M felt loved, secure and safe with everything and that it actually was enhancing our lives not taking away from it for the most part!
Right meow, I am a spaghetti cat