I thought about starting a blog..... but didn't know where or how, so here is my journal.
I am currently in my first poly relationship. I have always felt like I needed to have super close relationships with others, and if you have read my other posts literally been told and thought to myself I wish I could clone myself so i could be with XYZ.
My first exposure to anything Poly was through my sister, it turns out she had a triad and tried to explain things to me because at that time i did not know her basically at all. At first I was a bit shocked, she never ever shared personal details of her life but with things we were talking about it made sense for her too explain. Once I understood how their triad worked, and actually met one of their ex girlfriends (whom they are still friends with) it kind of solidified this idea in my head that I need to do more research.
I remember the first time I brought this up to my husband, asking him what he thought about poly relationships and that my sister was in one, explained her dynamic as best I could and left it as that. A couple months later I brought it up again and asked if he would be open to reading "opening up", he said sure why not... so we started to read it, and I continued reading(lurking really) on here and other blogs and such.
I remember talking to a couple close internet friends about it not realizing the implications, because at that point I "hadn't done any wrong" and for them "poly is wrong". I was very close with one friend so I talked to him about it- he was mostly against it and kept saying things like "maybe you married the wrong person, why cant 1 person be enough, isnt that just giving permission to cheat so you don't feel guilty.
Another friend was basically outraged at my interest in this lifestyle. Turns out both of those guys were "madly in love with me" blahblahblah. I ended up having to stop those friendships for a while because
1. I couldn't deal with the anger from D and
2. The other guy was so crazy in love with me it was just not ethical. When I pulled my head out of my ass it should have been obvious how much he cared for me/ was in love with me whatever but I was just learning and talking and didn't really see it. At this point my husband and I hadn't really set up our boundaries, but I knew that the "other guy" would always want more and be a threat to my marriage and I felt that any relationship with him would take away from my first relationship instead of add or enhance.
Anyways after that we had some illness and deaths in the family and basically put all convos about poly away because there was just other things to be dealt with, and at the time I was upset from the two situations I had already gone through so I was happy to leave it alone for a bit.
Anyways a few months later we moved and as we unpacked, out came the book! We sat down and read some more, talked some more and set up some basic boundaries but neither of us had anyone in mind. Fast forward a little more and i met L. Well I didn't actually meet him, we were online in a voice chat and I declared that he was to be my new BFF (yes, I know I am a little old for that, but its kind of who I am).
Anyways he laughed and agreed only because I meowed a lot I suppose. A couple nights later I was bored it was about 1am so we decided to hang out and go for a drive... It was a total blast jsut driving around rocking out to music and at the end of the night (morning?) 5amish we stopped and had breakfast at Dennys