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Old 10-06-2010, 08:45 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633

Hi Dragonfly,

Yuck, that sleeping arrangement sounds hideous. I hope it is temporary because of your living situation and that you normally have a fairer system than operating out of his whims.

It is important, I think for anyone in a polyamorous relationship to be very clear about what they want to achieve. It sounds to me as if you are currently a secondary and you really want to be at least a primary (if not monogamous).

I am a mono in a poly relationship but I am very primary. Z loves his other very much but we are committed to living the rest of our lives together (if we can maintain the quality of relationship that long). I know I always come first because our lives are so meshed. That was what I wanted in a relationship (among other things). I see the poly bits as just stuff I'm growing through.

I wish you clarity.
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