Just my $.02....as a mono in a poly. I don't think I'd ever do it again either if this current relationship doesn't work out. It's too complicated. As it stands right now I'm trying to decide if the compromises I make in not having the kind of time and attention I'd like with my poly partner is worth what I gain from our relationship. Can what I experience with my poly partner make up for the kind of time and attention I'd ideally like to have with him but can't due to the shared nature of poly?????
That issue has been right smack in my face for the past 24 hours. And right now I'm damned confused and wishing in many ways that I'd never gotten involved in this relationship to have to sort through these issues. On the other hand, it's hard to imagine my life without my poly-partner.
My poly's partner and I get along fine. We enjoy one another's company and all 3 of us have been sharing a household for the past 3 weeks. (A temporary arrangement until my rental unit is available in a few weeks.) So, I can't blame the struggles on that particular issue...which I consider to be so fortunate. I'm not jealous of his partner per se. I'm not jealous when I think about them making love. It's just that I'd love to sleep next to him every night and not have to wait to see if I'm going to be the "chosen" partner that night. God I hate that aspect!!!!