I haven't read the whole thread yet, but I do know some people online who are swingers. I had thought about it briefly, but honestly i just get way to close to people even as friends to be able to do something so personal such as having sex with someone who I didn't care about.
Its hard for me to understand people who can detach their feelings, but at the same time if it makes them happy then I am happy for them ykwim? I know personally I am a VERY emotional person. It has its ups and its downs but that is who I am.
With that being said I am curious about doing some things- not nec. swinging, but say- having sex in a room where another couple or more are having sex, or just going somewhere and doing something public (exhibitionist traits I guess, I don't know lol) with one of my guys. But then again these are men who I care for deeply..
I can totally see your point of view but at the same token it doesn't gross me out or repel me, I think when I first heard about it, it did- I get super freaked out about catching things and wondered if they had anything, or how would that work if one partner caught something and then they both got it blahblahblah idk.. but i did have one friend who opened up about it, and it made me understand a little bit.
She said its kind of like going to a strip club- it can be totally hot and get you revved up to go home to your partner(s) but isn't the be all or end all.
She also said they only "swung" like once a month if that and they didn't need anymore and they had a lot of rules attached to make sure all were comfortable.. I dont remember them all but I think some were like, when you come I want you to look at me, if either of us get uncomfortable the play date stops and its over, there was a lot so it seemed like they had set it up to enhance their relationship instead of take away, and for me that is what poly does- it enhances my relationships in a different way of course, so if that makes them happy then more power to them!