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Old 08-12-2009, 12:23 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Why did you wait 45 mins before seeing what was going on?
I don’t really have much of an answer for that question, except that I was lost in my own head. I remember listening to my heart pound for a very long time. I guess I entered that entered that state where time fades. As I wrote in the OP, this is all new to me, and to a very large extent I feel like a stranger in a strange land (and not in a cool Heinlein martian way. This I do not grok.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
What did you think was going on?
I had no idea whatsoever. That’s why I went to find out.


Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I think you have yourself to blame for that.
You are certainly right about that. I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
If this was a first time after a long wait to broach the topic I can totally see them getting caught up in it.
I can totally see it too. It is completely understandable. Understanding it does not help the wound heal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Damn right they both need to sit and listen as you work through your anger though.
Funny thing: I'm not really all that angry. I feel hurt, insecure, and abandoned, mostly. Some anger now and then, but not much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
But don't forget to tell them that is all it is. Working through it to see where you end up.
Right now he and I are stuck in the elephant house. There's no telling where we'll end up, but for the time being at least that's where we are.

Once again, everyone, please accept my sincere thanks to each of you who’ve taken the time to consider my situation and respond. Your insights and questions are really helping me get a handle on this. Also, thanks to each of you who read this thread and took a moment to send me a good vibe, It’s working. Things are coming clearer at last. Thank you all.

I have decided to find a poly-friendly counselor and do the work necessary to learn the lesson being offered here so that I can heal and move on. (And I might as well do it now while I still have coverage for it.) If Hubby and Star decide at some point they wants to revisit these issues, I’ll try to be ready to meet them where they are. But I’m not waiting for them. I’m going to find the straightest line between the problem and the solution and I am going to get from here to there, and I know I’ll be stronger and better and wiser for having made the trip. Thank you all for the encouragement and support. I particularly liked the hugs. Really, thanks.

Last edited by Fidelia; 08-12-2009 at 12:28 AM.
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