Thread: Confused
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Old 10-05-2010, 04:27 PM
confusion confusion is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 4
Default Confused

In a nutshell, I don't know how I feel about all this. My wife is attracted to a man that was my best friend for years. She just recently came out with this attraction (couple of months ago). I'm cool with them talking although it seems weird for a person like me that grew up with the notion that marriage was supposed to be with one other partner. I've always been told that in marriage you only get 80% of what you want and need and some people that get selfish and try to get the other 20% elsewhere will, in the end, only have that 20%. Anyway, I don't really have a problem with her talking to and seeing women. That makes sense to me in a way. A woman can provide her a type of relationship/intimacy that I, as a man, can not.

The talking to my friend, that's not so bad. But any time I think of her having sex with another man it makes me physically sick and totally turns me off. Just thinking about it now makes my stomach turn just a little. I guess, too, I'm disappointed because this man isn't exactly the type that will remain faithful to "the relationship" (he's always juggling several women) and he doesn't see women the way that most people do: As people. So, I'm wondering how to deal with all this. She is much happier and more sexually adventurous when they are talking and when she's thinking about the polyamorous lifestyle so that is good, at least. I want her to be happy. That said, what about me? When we entered into marriage and subsequently had our son, I never dreamed that in a million years I would even be in this situation. If she's changed that much in two years it makes me wonder what is next.

Any advice?
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