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Old 10-04-2010, 01:49 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by sage View Post
If we don't believe that another relationship is healthy for our partner should we get involved to try and resolve it?
Well Sage, I'm not one who believes it's up to any other person to 'resolve' anyone else's life struggles - unless physical danger is present.

To me it crosses a 'control' boundary that I find antithetical to poly beliefs in particular.

However, I do feel that we do have some ethical obligation to (at the proper time when it will be listened to) point out unhealthy people/behavior, complete with facts and details to back it up. This is important to me. I don't want to hear how you'feel' about something, I want it pointed out to me certain history or behavior that is concerning or harmful/risky. Just the facts M'am - just the facts.

From there it's up to me to see the truth in that and act accordingly. I'm a grown adult. There's an imperative to make my own 'good' choices or reap the consequences. But it helps to be reminded that - especially in a poly life - that those consequences can ripple beyond myself. When you 'signed up' for poly, that was one of the responsibilities you agreed (knowingly or not) to shoulder. Better hold up your end of the bargain.

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