Originally Posted by redpepper
This is all very well, but I have found that I set people up when I don't tell them what those expectations are. And that isn't fair. I find it better to let people know what I expect even if it isn't rational to them. At least we can start talking about what is. She might do better to know what you think and that you expect it to be different now because she has that bit of knowledge about herself. I think it would also be kind to offer her suggestions and ask her how she feels knowing how you feel about it all and what she thinks she could do to make changes that work better for all involved.
I'm not withholding my thoughts or expectations from her. I'm sorry if something I shared gave you that impression. These posts get long enough without putting down the content of all conversations surrounding the moments I share!