Originally Posted by redpepper
Vincezzo, your last post sounded a lot like Mono's early posts. We had so much to negotiate. You are in a different position than we were but similar in ways also. Maybe reading some of Mono's earlier posts would help?
I did read some of his earlier ones; thanks for suggesting. I think he is a bit like me in that he is calculating. Not a negative thing as it doesn't imply the grade of intentions so much as it is just about weighing odds and getting caught up in possibilities without evidence. Really, I'm over thinking possible factors rather than real factors. I'm stuffing the majority of my musings in the mental wait and see box. If, in the end, I get my heart caught up and it results in hurt it isn't going to be anything I haven't weathered before.
J and I had a discussion last night about this stuff. He is really good at the physical acts that imply emotion to others. The soft caring aspect is perhaps, misleading to others, prompting the "where is this headed?" talk a bit prematurely for him with his past partners. Just one of those things I noticed and offered up for his consideration. He did voice that some of the relationship ideals he holds are things that may or may not ever come to pass for him regardless of whether I'm in the picture or not. If we stopped seeing each other sexually, life does not guarantee him things like monogamous compatible partner, marriage, kids and even if it did - he doesn't know when he will be prepared for those things.
Time to go listen to the wisdom of the Rolling Stones and remember that I can still steer my ship towards what I need if not always what I want.