Thanks for the kind words. We're in a bit of a sadness spiral at the moment and I don't want to make it any worse. While we get on fine normally she can get a bit huffy if I start communicating with her about their relationship.
He is going to try and talk to her tomorrow about going to see her on his own(she's already canceled coming to see us three times). I'm trying not to get impatient with the whole thing. It just seems like I did all this work to accept the poly nature of their relationship when it was impacting him positively and now I'm having to learn to live with the downside of polyamory, i.e. when another relationship is impacting him negatively.
It's a side that isn't discussed that much on this forum, or not that I've seen anyway. Surely all secondary relationships don't just go to sleep quietly in a neat pain-free death?