Hello... I wanted post a follow up. My DH opened a dialog. (Just between themselves though) I guess the upshot is the other person was surprised to know that we still cared for him. I guess the biggest thing i got from it was that I was treated the way I was to get rid of me because an emotional blackmail ultimatum was made. Also surprised to know that everyday friendships were also broken because of similar thing. In other words... the new family wants to be everything and he has acquiesced. (I guess that wasn't a revelation but a reinforcement.)
Well I had been getting on with my life anyways. I took my dogs today and went to my dance classes and I am glad that I didn't quit everything that reminds me of him. I wanted to run away and I didn't. I am sure I will be happier in the end for it. I have alot to do in the next weeks as I get music ready and things. It will be fun. Oh and you find out who your real friends are when you are depressed.
Oh and by the way I am not holding any false hope that anything will return to the way it was. I guess it was just nice to know that maybe I wasn't "nothing" afterall.