Well, its only two times I've been approached that I didn't feel an uncomfortable vibe, Raze. Both of those times I let it happen, but the sexual contact wasn't too great.
I get what you're saying about quick sex vs. holding off a bit. Generally I'm trying to go slower now, as I'm really looking forward to the emotional aspect fueling the sex. That's what seems to really turn me on these days, connection.
But I might be overdoing it a bit! Two nights ago I met a woman I really liked, who was very into me. After hanging out a couple hours we had our heads together, and she said something that gave me a strong urge to kiss her. I resisted it, and told her about it; I had told her earlier I wanted to go slow. She said, "That tells me we're gonna kiss." I said, "I'm sure we will soon, but not tonight."
Now I'm thinking, that was just as much a mistake as going too fast. Kissing her in that moment would have felt very natural. But I held back, worrying that my willpower would crumble entirely. Seems like I'd be better off just relaxing into the natural trajectory of an interaction, not trying to steer it one way or another.
Anyhow, I'm sure I'm gonna be just as spastic with men as I have been with women lately! I've blown several attractive possibilities; the only bright side is that the opportunities keep showing up at a gratifyingly steady pace.