I'm not OK with you staying away from someplace you love, because of one asshole. Not cool at all, he has no business having that kind of power over you.
You're not the instigating factor here - every man in D's life is. Me, J, hell, even K and the Bear - and when was the last time that EITHER of them pissed ANYONE off? It's not in either of their natures. I've never seen them piss anyone off except C, and well, she's engaged to K and Bear's best friend, so that's just par for the course
Seriously, you can't blame yourself for D's actions. If J shows up there, D will start his bullshit, just like he's still in highschool. Not your fault. Personally, I think something needs to happen, so that we can have him kicked out permanently and our happy place can go back to being happy for all of us.
Come out to play with us, babe. Don't change your plans because of one man and his inability to deal with...... well, with anyone.