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Old 10-01-2010, 11:16 AM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 52
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Hey,

I'm also somewhat new to poly. I've been in a poly relationship with my main man for a year now, but he's only been with his other girlfriend for 6 months and I just met my other boyfriend 2 months ago. I understand your feelings. I felt them when my boyfriend first hooked up with his girl. Because of distance, she can see him a lot more than I can and I was affraid that his affections would just leak away from me. What helped me out is being secure in my connection with him and the differences between her and myself

It might be that you have some doubts over your connection with her? I've never been a fan of the term "secondary" since it immediately places a "lesser than" implication on a relationship. Also....you have chosen to be in a relationship with someone who already has a primary, so you've already acknowledged that someone else comes before you in this situation. I think it's natural to feel insecure, especially if she keeps going back and forth over how likely it is that she'll spend less time with you. Why not get out there and find a girl who's gaga over you? Or develop some interests that will keep you from feeling left out? Just some ideas. I hope this resoves itself well for you
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