Originally Posted by Ariakas
I don't know of any relationships like this, but I can feel for you. I am not sure my relationships would survive without physical contact as for me, thats a big part of my connection. I don't need sex, but there is an intimacy lost without it.
Are you interested in finding "love" outside of the marriage or just sex. It could be, on your side ofthe relationship, than poly isn't what you want but sex is. It really depends on what you are getting from the relationship.
And honestly, is she still giving you love? What are you getting out of staying in the relationship? Might be things to consider.
Best of luck on your journey
My wife is very tender and affectionate with me. We are very close and most significantly I think that we share spiritual beliefs together that we encourage one another in.
It is a struggle though. I don't know about exploring love outside of my marriage. For one thing, odd as it may seem, I just don't have the time right now. I work an afternoon shift at work and the work is very physically demanding; it's all that I can do to have time to spend with my family normally.
My assumption is that you are staying because of the kids. Is that so or are their other reasons? That is a noble enough reason for sure. It sounds like it could work very well.
The whole sex thing without her really being into it I find a bit disturbing, but maybe that's me. I don't think I'd be so keen in your situation and be looking elsewhere for love, companionship and connection. Sex isn't everthing for sure, and you could certainly have a connected relationship with your wife without it, but I would think having another or several othe relationships of a sexual nature would be more healthy.
The kids are the main factor. We are good parents together, that is a major thing for me.
I guess I am wondering if anyone has similar experiences and ones that have turned out well in the end, and if it is possible for someone to rediscover their delight in making love with their original partner.
I did seriously talk to her about this. She said that it has nothing to do with my qualities as a lover or a person, it is just that she finds she is only attracted to women. But then she also kisses me, lies in bed with me and so on.
So I'm kind of trying to figure all this out.