I felt so bad for your situation as I read through the posts. I do however see that you will move past this current state of sadness.
Being so new to this, Im not sure if my advice can really even amount to much. But I always find solice in my wife (primary as you guys say). Can you turn to your husband and find solice in him? Love is always a great escape from sorrow, I would try and surround myself with the love of your husband, family and friends.
I wish you the best!