So at first I was right there ready to give this husband of yours a blast of shit but as everyone seems to have covered the spectrum of things to give him shit for I have a question.
Why did you wait 45 mins before seeing what was going on? What did you think was going on?
If it were me I would of been in there in under a minute saying, "hey there get your sexy asses in this bedroom!" not waiting for them to get on it.
I am willing to be a bit more patient than others it seems. I think that was way to long to wait to see what was going on. I think you have yourself to blame for that.
Time stands still for me when I have sex. If things are moving along passionately I have no idea the time until I come up for air. If this was a first time after a long wait to broach the topic I can totally see them getting caught up in it.
I understand you would be hurting, don't get me wrong. That sucked big time! Don't go over board though. There might be hope yet. Time and more talking will help. Damn right they both need to sit and listen as you work through your anger though. But don't forget to tell them that is all it is. Working through it to see where you end up.
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