Originally Posted by River
Hmm. I'm perhaps even less clear than you are as to whether you are simply wanting/needing deeper general--albeit non-sexual--intimacy with a man or with men ~OR~ whether you are having long repressed romantic-sexual feelings surge into conscious awareness from within the fog of repression.
Closer to the second ~OR~
When I met my (now ex) wife, I realized that a deep emotional bond is what I really had being needing
in my relationships with women; and having this emotional intimacy really fueled our sexual connection, which was the most intense in my life so far.
Beforehand I was basically thinking of women as sex objects, and didn't value them appropriately. Similar to how my thinking has been in the recent past about men. And I think finding an emotional intimacy with a man would similarly fuel my desire for sexual intimacy. I'm open to that now in a way I haven't been before.
Its only in the last few months that my attitudes have been changing in this respect. Being grossed out by kissing or cuddling or the idea of falling in love with a man, these are already things of the past; I guess my earlier posts didn't make that clear. Even the idea that I might someday consider a man to be "my boyfriend" would have seemed strange to me a couple months ago; now I contemplate this possibility happily.
As for the types of men's groups you mentioned, I have some confused mixed feelings about the idea. But I can't seem to sort out the 'why' of it right now.
Thanks for the continuing input!