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Old 09-30-2010, 12:04 AM
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River River is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 2,838

As I re-read what I posted above I realized that the phrase "non-sexual passionate love" may ring more than a little weird in some ears. "What the hell could THAT mean?!" But it's clear to me that not all passionately loving relationships have a strong (or any) sexual/erotic focus. (I chose "focus" because I couldn't immediately think of another appropriate word.) ... And so I guess I only go so far with Freud on even this matter. He thought sexual eros was the root of all desire for intense intimacy or closeness. I rather doubt it's quite that simple. Even the term "eros" needn't necessarily refer to sexual desire.

Eros is mainly about passionate desire and/or bonding. It's at the core of all loving in some form or another, sexual or otherwise. Certainly it was there in our relationship with our parents, however healthy or distorted. Anyway, all friendships which are genuinely loving have some passion, some eros. And that's a good thing. If you ask me. But poor Eros has long been misunderstood and underappreciated in our culture. Especially in M-M relationships--friendship or otherwise. Straight men are often terrified of their desire for loving intimacy with men/guys! We're taught that. And not getting the message is to dance with a taboo.
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