Originally Posted by redpepper
I have known swingers to try and make me feel special. Now I am realizing it was false and all because they wanted to fuck me. I don't know if it was lies, but I don't trust men now when they complement me. It goes back to my thinking its a pathetic attempt to get laid and not that they admire me. We talked about it once before on here. I said I find men like that pathetic and got some shit from people for saying so.
It goes back to only fucking and making love to those I love and I know love me. That way no confusion and no damage. I got very confused before and thought all men loved me.
not true but swinging can cause that illusion it turns out.
Man, I used to be one of these pathetic types, when I was a young guy, and I just cringe when I look back on those days now. For me it came down to just plain not valuing women for much except sex, and feeling justified somehow in deceiving them about my feelings and intentions to get it. But I never felt comfortable with the aftereffects of being such a prick in this way.
Your last paragraph really resonates with me these days; I don't want anybody in my bed unless I'm damn sure we both want to be there. That at the minimum we really relate to, and know each other, well.