No, I'm afraid I would turn away from even the mention of the words open or poly if I ended up single again and I would be sure to ask.
Mono- I agree to a point. While I think the self-awareness and growth has been beneficial to me personally, I would never get into a mono/poly situation again. That is just an almost insurmountale battle. I think if I would ever become "single" again, I would stay single and be free to love whomever I choose without the guilt and oppression of having to make such huge compromises to the natural progression of a relationship due to mono expectations of a primary mono. Now I would think that using this journey as a guage I would be able to recognize if a lover is becoming expectant or feeling the pressure to control to feel secure. As a poly lover with a mono husband the protection of his feelings on the matter has in turn caused me to feel unable to share huge parts of my life. While I respect his need for it, and I understand his struggles, I have not really made him realize what his needs have done to me and our relationship because of the disconnect. I have a hard time with imposing my wants/needs on others. I definitely do not let them walk on me, and I do as I choose, but I am not overt or obnoxious in my expectations being imposed on them personally. I communicate what I want, I do what I need to to make those wants happen but I don't expect my husband to be right beside me "embracing" what I choose. I just journey on and hope he follows but that has not always been the case...that hurts, alot. And that is because of expectations of what traditional marriage is supposed to be. I am learning what a non-traditional marriage can be. But if all was erased and I could live my life...marriage would not be on my list of To Do in Life. I agree that mono/poly isn't the best scenario for me.