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Old 09-28-2010, 09:34 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Squamish, BC
Posts: 790
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
For instance.

PN-"i'm anxious and nervous about this situation"
RP-"why!?" (triggered that he is making something into a big issue where it doesn't have to be... happens often )
PN-"because I don't know what will happen and i am afraid because of that"
RP-"that is ridiculous, what's there to be afraid about! nothing is going to happen, it's all what you create it to be."

PN-"I would prefer if you would tell me that it's going to be okay and that you feel for me and that you hope I get through these feels as you don't think there is anything to be worried about"
RP-"okay, .... PN, I am sorry that the situation is causing you stress, I feel for you that you are struggling, I hope that you can get through these feelings as I don't think you have anything to worry about. If I can help in anyway, I will."
PN-"thank you love, you have already helped and I feel much better."

PN feels good, and I feel good having diverted the frustration I have to something positive, with his help. Then I get to talk about how I feel about the situation and often times, he sees things my way and realizes he has possibly made a mountain out of a mole hill.
OMFG... the bolded part is SO how Wellington and I have been interacting - only he then gets stressed and can't see beyond the stress. Could you TALK to my husband please RP??? LOL (BTW he's redheaded too)

@Maca.... summer of 2009 I was on my couch, unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to do anything I was so paralyzed by my anxieties and insecurities. I was terrified.

I went to a wonderful counsellor - he taught me to play the "What if" game.

What if... I lose my job... what happens next? Will I lose my house? Will I lose my husband, my kids, we'll end up homeless and seperated and everything will be horrific and awful and.... full stop. I was a deer stuck in the headlights.

When I learned to take the story to the end - to what if all that happens - I'm still there. I'm still alive, I still have my health, I am capable of getting a job.

Then I actually lost my job. Go figure. And we survived, and I ended up with a better job.

So when your insecurities are NOT getting the better of you... take the story to the end. What if? What if LR leaves? What if you end up alone? Its not going to happen - but you're still there, you're loveable and awesome and great to be around (I'm extrapolating - LR wouldn't be with you if you weren't all those things LOL) and you're still you.

Then when they are - remember - that she loves you. She chooses to be with you - because of who YOU are.

I believe people can change if they really want to.
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