I live in a small SouthWestern city which is widely considered a sort of safehaven for queers/gays.... But I have found it rather difficult to meet other queer men here. I even spent some months trying to address my town's need for opportunities for Q men to meet in a safe and comfortable social atmosphere. The idea was to bring men together for suchlike as picnics and hikes on local trails, maybe camping trips, etc. This was thought to be superior to going to bars, etc.
So I was involved in a sort of outreaching process. But hardly anyone would show up at the picnics, though they were fairly well advertised. And no one attempted to organize other events (it was designed for open-invitation). I gave up when my fellow organizer went nutz and became suddenly impossible to deal with.
It was through this and other experiences that I came to realize that although my town is widely considered Q-friendly, probably the overwhelming majority of Q men here are in the closet to some large degree. Many, many of these are WAY in the closet -- and probably only meet with other Q men for casual/anonymous sex "hook ups". These I have a compassionate interest in, but no romantic / sexual interest (!). I'm interested in real and in-depth intimacy.
My hope is that this "thread" will be somehow helpful to folks like me. Folks like me seem to need to learn how to meet one another and form friendships, etc.
Ideas? Complaints? Questions?