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Old 09-28-2010, 11:23 AM
polyexplorer polyexplorer is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 70
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"The blank stare"... What a great way to describe the reaction of someone (especially someone who has always been mono) the first time they hit the idea of the possibility of poly...

I had the "poly talk" for the first time with my wife just the other night. I got the blank stare.... That was followed by a long silence which was then followed by tears which was then followed by "Why aren't I enough?" I can totally understand why she would respond like that...

My response was to show love and to explain that it actually had nothing to do with her or her not being enough or me being dissatisfied with our relationship in any way. It was simply about me and who I am.

I think this is only the tip of the iceberg. There's a whole lot more processing to come, and in the meantime my plan is to take things at her pace. It is made a bit more difficult because in my case there is another close friend of ours in the wings who I have gotten close to, who is also waiting and taking things at my wife's pace.

Interestingly though, since the conversation, my wife has been much more affectionate. I thought maybe the opposite would happen and she would withdraw a little... Time will reveal all...
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