We figured it out.
She's coming down for a day visit so they get their connect time - but I don't lose my connect time.
Talked to P today - we really need to talk more - W will hold things back in an effort not to hurt one or the other of us and someone always hurts more
Tonight - I'm good, W is good, I'm hoping P is good because she is going to get the reconnect time they need.
Hotels are not an option at this time. They may be in the future, but right now, they're just not. I'm generally ok with the current set up - I enjoy P's company and it gives her and I some connect time too - but its usually with me being ok with W - if he and I aren't ok - the rest isn't either.
We're getting ok.