Originally Posted by Derbylicious
Get them to get a hotel maybe less often for their nights together. If you need to be the focus when he's at home with you then he needs to find somewhere else where he can focus on her.
Originally Posted by redpepper
It's hard to tell without knowing what happened, because the intensity of the whole thing is hard to gage.
I think it might just have to be that the two of you spend time together working it through until there is a comfort there to take him to her. If you were going to leave, then shouldn't that be worked out first? We are talking your marriage, kids, everything you know. She is a relationship of a short time and less investment (sorry P, I hope you know I think you rock, but), not worth losing your marriage over. I think she would understand if she has to wait.
Why can't she come to you? Ari isn't at home, it's not like she has him to be concerned about right now... maybe derby is right. Hotel. Although I would hold off and make sure you have worked it out with W first.
Agree and Agree. It's hard to balance your relationship with their relationship. I am always afraid of coming across as whiney "well I'm his wife so I matter more". But when it comes to walking away from that marriage it's not about who matter more, it's about who needs the time at the moment. You are talking about walking away from a forever and always commitment. That to me says your relationship is the one that needs the time and the focus at the moment.
Karma doesn't like the whole primary secondary thing, so I try not to go there in thought. But I am the one he promised forever to, so if that is being threatened, for any reason, inlcuding our own actions, then it needs to be addressed before he goes to fix things with g/f. Just my opinion.