It's hard to tell without knowing what happened, because the intensity of the whole thing is hard to gage.
I think it might just have to be that the two of you spend time together working it through until there is a comfort there to take him to her. If you were going to leave, then shouldn't that be worked out first? We are talking your marriage, kids, everything you know. She is a relationship of a short time and less investment (sorry P, I hope you know I think you rock, but), not worth losing your marriage over. I think she would understand if she has to wait.
Why can't she come to you? Ari isn't at home, it's not like she has him to be concerned about right now... maybe derby is right. Hotel. Although I would hold off and make sure you have worked it out with W first.
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