Originally Posted by redpepper
It reminds me of situations where saying "yes" was easier than saying "no," because I didn't want to feel guilty for enjoying a kiss or flirting. The "no means no" generation never talked about what it meant to say "yes." It taught me that saying "yes" meant I was a slut and that I should shut off from my body and saying "no" meant that I should feel guilty or prudish and sex negative. Neither absolute was helpful so I felt trapped.
I went through this exact same thing with anal sex. I thought that saying "no" would make me "uptight" and a "prude". ON one hand, I'm glad I tried it because I know for certain that it is not "my thing". On the other hand, the only reason I DID try it was so that I could tell people who want to stick things up my ass, "been there done that got the T-shirt". Now, I no longer feel the need to prove to the world how "not-uptight" I am. I do not want any "advice" from people about how to relax, use lots of lube, try carrots and butt-plugs, etc. I remember telling my husband (then boyfriend) that if he tries to enter my ass in any way, I will get up and put my pants on.
However, I don't project this mentality onto other people and suggest that anyone who does enjoy anal penetration must be trying to "prove" something out of a sense of inadequacy or low self-esteem. I don't think there is anything "unnatural" or "dirty" about it, although if I happen to do someone else up the ass, I reserve the right to wash my hand immediately afterward.