View Single Post
Old 09-27-2010, 04:29 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Originally Posted by Superjast View Post

I have learned that many swingers, are very warm, welcoming people, who aren`t neccessarily 'cold' in their attitudes towards sex. Just different then me.
Nice comment Superjast

This is what I know to be true, regardless of what I think about the activity itself. Some people judge me because I ride motorbike with just a t-shirt and no concern for my safety if I hit the road. They see it as unsafe and immature. I see it as increasing my feeling of freedom even though I know the risks. Why do they judge me for this? Probably because they would be afraid of hurting themselves if they did it. So fear might be the source of their reaction. Perhaps fear is the source of my discomfort. But what would I fear? I won't go to swinger events so that's not it.

Maybe this is about my sense that swinger men are predatory and never come out of the headspace of looking for the next woman to screw. Therefore they are not threatening me; they are threatening people around me. If I was even to go to a party with people who swing or have swung in the past I would naturally think that between booze and the acceptance of casual sex would lead to situations that would trigger me. "People stripping (the earlier mentioned comment by the woman who used to swing during our recent social event didn't help this I'm sure), making out, soliciting Redpepper or Derby. Redpepper can flirt like crazy with men and women so that would add to my discomfort. I wouldn't want to see it. I can imagine her and Polynerdist going to the same party without me and that would be fine, because I wouldn't have to see anything or feel any inadvertent energy that might be generated.

There you have it...this is about situations that trigger me with respect to my connection with Redpepper. This isn't about lack of trust, but about the perceived threat to my connection with Redpepper. I had the same issues around public BDSM events at first. That was dispelled but I still have it around the idea of "private" BDSM parties where open sexuality is more prevalent

Judgement isn't always about fear, but in this case I believe it is.

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote