Originally Posted by sage
But if you look at the thread "Is poly worth it" it's predominantly positive. I look around at all my old mono friends and they may not have the emotional roller coaster rides that poly relationships often include but they are mostly a lot less healthy, honest and dynamic than my relationship and I'm sure yours. Many of them are "affairs in waiting".
I have also had kids and a long mono relationship peppered with affairs, so maybe that has helped me get where I am. I don't have any illusions about a mono relationship necessarily being any better than a poly one just because it's mono. Any relationship is only as good as the people in it.
Everyone's reality is different, if you read that thread than you saw that my opinion was different. I couldn't be a in a poly/open relationship as a primary partner or "husband". I'm not saying mono relationships are better at all. I'm just saying that there are a lot of unique circumstances that had to all come together for me to be in this relationship. Part of that was not realizing what kind of struggle I was about to take on. I can't imagine anyone else ever being worth that. I can't imagine ever giving some one the chance to see. No, I'm afraid I would turn away from even the mention of the words open or poly if I ended up single again and I would be sure to ask.