I'm not sure I get the over reacting thing you talk about. I don't find you and "over" reactor, I find you to be a reactor. You respond to situations where you feel uncomtable and don't know why. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and nothing unusual. Its not like you are a drama queen. You have emotions, you get confused by them, express them in the only way that you know how, in order to work them out. Once you figure it out, you aren't emotional any more and are more than accomidating of others and know where you are at. Much more than I would be in your situation. Nope, the whole "over reaction" thing I don't believe exists anywhere but in your head at this point. Maybe those around you are less openly emotional? I dunno.
On the note of who you are as a partner. You are a pretty damned fine one to me. Top notch, can't be beat. You don't give yourself enough credit my sweets.
Big hugs and kisses.