My wife's relationship with her girlfriend is known as a friendship to the kids, so she does come over and stuff like that.
My wife and I have an intimate relationship but not a sexual one. That is to say we shower together, we cuddle in bed together, we hug and kiss. She treats me with great tenderness. I had hoped we could have a sexual relationship but I think she is being honest with me when she says she is a lesbian. The priority, we have agreed, is our family and so it was out of love for my wife that I accepted her lesbianism. She accepts that I'm pretty much heterosexual and need a sexual relationship with another woman.
Right now I'm mostly grieving for what I had hoped for originally, a good sexual relationship with her, which after years of trying has not worked out. I guess I'm trying to explore whether I want a sexual relationship with someone else--I am capable of desiring other people--or whether I really just want my wife and have to figure out where to go from there. It feels strange to contemplate seriously being open to having another woman as a lover when I have been very devoted to my wife and very much in love with her.