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Old 09-26-2010, 01:56 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by phoenix762 View Post
I really hope I'm not pulling this off topic...
I usually lurk because I am not poly, but am curious about it, so usually, I really don't have anything to add.
That being said, you were wondering if a woman who was only exposed to a mono lifestyle (this would be me) -if presented with an option to be a poly relationship (I have not, but for the sake of this conversation, let's say I have) decided to accept the poly nature of said relationship NOT because of infatuation with said man, but b/c I have rationally thought it out beforehand.

Yep, I sure would.
See, here's my take on it.

I would love to have a relationship with someone whom I would NOT have to devote a lot of time to, well, because I tend to be a loner, and I have pissed off TWO husbands who don't understand that I like to spend a lot of time alone not b/c I don't like THEM, but b/c I am just a loner by nature.

Hey - thanks Phoenix !

This is great. Glad you decided to move out of the lurkers corner

So maybe you have shared something important with us. It seem, at least in your case, a strong sense of independence (as contrasted to dependence?) has given you the right situation to consider things with an open mind. You're not necessarily looking to get into a relationship that follows what most might consider 'convention'. You're also honest with yourself about not bringing to the table what maybe a majority might be expecting. (you mentioned a lot of sex and time in this category).

So it makes me wonder if there's otherwise some internal conflicts with many others. I think everyone has a desire to have (and embrace) at least a certain amount of independence - even in the framework of a relationship. But yet, particularly in a mono relationship, it's customary to give up a certain amount (in some cases a lot) of that independence.

Now it seems that for anyone who places considerable value on independence, at least weighing the options of poly would make sense ?
But that doesn't seem to happen.............i.e. the point of this thread.

Nice to hear from your perspective ! Thanks again.

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