Originally Posted by vodkafan
This is a tough one. I don't know enough about poly yet so maybe I shouldn't even be answering.... but it sounds like your marriage is pretty strong in all other areas.
I think what might happen is that intially you will be quite happy that his sexual needs are being met; but that when you will feel threatened is if you see any signs that he is enjoying an emotional relationship with the new partner..
Yeah, that's kind of what happened in a situation I was in- they'd had a great sex life when they got together, then she had a baby. They'd always had an open marriage, then he started having sex with me, and we had a hard time keeping our hands off each other and she just wasn't interested, so he was having way more sex with me, but kept going on about how he was really most interested in having sex with her. She felt jealous, and I felt like I was just a handy spare vagina since he didn't have much access to hers. Eventually, I asked to take a break to work through the issues, and after a year of her avoiding the issues, I finally gave up and got over him. Their sex life is completely dead, he still complains about it, and she seems to keep giving him false hope that things will go back to NRE. Getting me involved didn't make things better for them, and ending things with me just hurt me, it didn't fix their problem. I'm not sure what would work, but breaking someone else's heart is a sucky way of dealing with sexual incompatibility.