I was wondering if you could answer some questions...
Um, hi everyone. I'm extremely new to the polyamory field; in fact, my first and only relationship was a polyamorous one. It started out with me and this guy meeting on a role play site, and in one of the threads, we first became friends when we basically said "Oh yeah, I'm going to RMU...OMG, you are too? Where?...OMG, we're in the same state! What city?...OMG yours is in driving distance from mine! Do you live in the same city as your school?...OMG YOU LIVE WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE, THIS IS AWESOME!!" We acted like hyperactive idiots for a while after that because we had never found anyone else on the site that was in the same state and area as us, much less as the same college chain. Between making role play posts, we would chat some more, and the innuendos would be made, and eventually, we decided to meet up. That happened, and then I met one of his female friends from the site, and long story short, we all eventually fell for each other. Problem was, she and I eventually grew apart as girlfriends. It may have been the fact that she was in a different state than us, or the fact that our guy was in the hospital for a long time after he and I met up and talking to her on AIM every day was mostly about what she wanted to talk about, but whatever it was, we grew apart. Later, it got so that we weren't talking to each other (but not because of hate, mind you; we just didn't talk), and after our guy...had something happen to him, we just completely broke things off.
With that all said, I was actually hoping that there might be people who could help me out with some questions on polyamory. I know that I didn't exactly go into this relationship the right way, but I was wondering:
*If you were already with someone, how did you approach them with the polyamory subject? If instead you were single but got into a poly, how did you get into said relationship?
*Which seems to work better: a poly where it's closed between a certain amount of people, or more of an open relationship that has ground rules set down? Or do they work about the same?
*Are there actually any "closed" polyamorous relationships where it's an MMF/MFM/etc. where the guys are bisexual? Or does it seem to work better with a guy and two females?
*How different is a poly from a mono relationship? How similar?
*Any tips/tricks/advice on how to keep one long lasting?
If my questions seem more like their leaning towards a "closed" relationship instead of an "open" one, it's just what I've felt I would be more comfortable with, but I'm not above learning about open relationships as well. This is all I can think of for now, and I'm sorry if I seem ignorant about polyamory. I've just never actually found a place where people can give advice and help out before, since for some reason I kept thinking that I would just get information sites and would be unable to find help from those who are/were in a poly. Also, if this is in the wrong forum, please forgive me for that. Thanks for your time.
If we have enough love in our hearts for more than one friend and more than one family member, then why are we told that it's crazy to have enough love for more than one lover?