Originally Posted by redpepper
mono's get a bad wrap on the "controlling" thing no? I
Yea - that term could be taken a lot of different ways.
But bottom line, in a mono relationship/configuration there IS a control element - if nothing more that self reassurance that at least one facet of one's life is 'under control'. One thing (ideally) not to worry about (relationship competition, loneliness etc) So although it may not be 'controlling' it still offers some security of control.
In contrast, opening to poly - especially initially - doesn't offer that safety net from unknowns.
Does that make more sense ?