Thanks for the advice so far! I'm lucky because he's been very open (as far as I'm comfortable with) about what he wants in the future. The situation is that he's in the military and is currently deployed, so he doesn't have many options when it comes to girls he's interested in the few times that they stop at a port. I on the other hand remain back n the states with many options.
At first he told me to do whatever I wanted, probably assuming I'd want more while he was away. I tried dating, half-heartedly, and then dropped it because I only have feelings for him. Maybe that means I'm mono? Anyway, when he found out that's how I feel, he said he would also abstain even if he met someone he liked while abroad, which I found rather touching. He'll come back in about three months.
I really like him, and I don't want to feel like I'm taking this away from him. I don't like feeling like he has to choose me or poly, which I think he currently feels like. I think it might be easier if I was actually friends with his other interests. I guess I'd be his "primary," which is honestly the only thing I could be for him. Is it better to be involved with the other interests? Does the jealousy get better?
On another note, do you think people are born with poly/mono tendencies? They've done interesting studies with prairie voles and bonding is why I ask.
Thanks so much for talking with me about this, as it's important for me to sort out