Originally Posted by sage
There are a few things about your post I'm not quite clear on but I'll give it a go.
I don't quite understand what you mean by "crossing the line"?
Thanks for giving it a shot. I knew when I wrote this it would probably be fuzzy but was a bit pressed for time.
Maybe the question you posed will be the same that confuses others so thanks for weighing in !
When I spoke of 'crossing the line' here's what I was referring to..........
For the vast majority of people who either identify as 'mono' or who would otherwise be classified such by those who obviously are not, their 'picture' of a relationship includes a one-on-one coupling, complete fidelity (sex & emotion) etc.
But there are those, maybe such as yourself (?) who identify as 'mono' although their partner is NOT. And this 'breaks' the standard model - and yet you find it comfortable and acceptable.
Now it's another fun topic itself to debate whether you can any longer be considered 'mono', but rather than debate this to no point we'll grant you (or anyone) the liberty of holding onto the label. So YOU (etc) are 'mono' by way of only choosing to have a single partner. And although this meets your needs you still have had to deal with all of the primary issues a 'poly' person would - i.e. jealousy, envy, time conflicts etc because of your partner's poly lifestyle.
So how DID you cross that line - from demanding ALL of someone to accepting part of them ?
That seems to be the big, broad line that's so difficult to cross.
If I were to stretch it a bit, I'd say it involves giving up 'control', as that seems to be a primary component of most mono relationships. Ownership.
Hope this helps.........