Thanks for your interest MG and yes TP is right. I have so far felt drained by trying to engage in other intimate relationships myself. It is a bit like feeling totally satisfied by a beautiful dinner but forcing yourself to have a second dessert just because someone else is and it looks great. It doesn't add anything just makes you feel heavy and uncomfortable.
Whereas interestingly Z's SO does add something positive to our relationship. Usually anyway; she is very much "in the Now" and does have tendency to leave him hanging emotionally in mid-air (figuratively speaking) which does impact me a bit, but hey nothing is perfect. Off topic that is actually quite interesting. On this board there's a big emphasis on communication. Well their communication is extremely creative and selective. He would never tell her that she hurts him in only giving him time when it suits her because he likes her to continue being this total free spirit. And he likes her to think it doesn't upset him. I suppose that's a feature of secondary relationships: you can create them anyway you want and if it suits you both to only show certain parts of yourself you can. Sorry for that little stream of consciousness. It might be a good idea for a thread for secondaries though?