Thanks for the positive support!
Now onto the other aspect of actions not matching with words.
The bulk of the last week, I was mensing and dealing with the flu my son had brought home the week before. So I wasn't having fun with anyone! J wanted to see me before he heads out of town on Saturday. That leaves tonight. So I made plans with him.
Husband had a date that canceled on him on Thursday and S is still on the "lets just be friends for a while" tip, so he starts talking about getting a quickie in before I go on my date. It feels a bit like marking his territory with me as the fire hydrant, but I try to not read into it. He was heading out the door for work and we had no time to talk.
I message husband about unrelated stuff and crack a joke about not getting the male mind concerning the whole first dibs and sloppy seconds mentality. He jokes back and all seems fine. However, a big text drama ensues where he complains about how he isn't seeing anyone right now and feels I basically just told him to get in line for my time. Then he tosses in how he had to help me today with our laptop and camera for some work I'm doing this weekend for good measure. So I tell him I'll cancel. I don't want him feeling slighted at all.
And now, let me count, 7 times I'm told he is fine and doesn't care if I keep plans with J.