Tomorrow when I get home from work I'm going to send an e-mail to J telling her my feelings so she has some time to respond before I leave for vacation. She told me honesty is best, and if someone can't handle that then it was never meant to me, and I'm going to take her at her word.
I'd go into detail more, but I really don't feel up to more right now. I've had an emotionally exhausting day and feel like I have a lot more yet to come. I'll post when I can.