For me the choice of polyamory as a life style is more about freedom from control by others, Polyamorist's included! I don't see, in my world view, polyamory as an alternative to monogamy but rather a freer model of human relationships than is currently practiced by the majority. I see polyamory in the same light as I see Naturism, freedom from the control of clothing. While my view may appear idealistic given the current world social/cultural model it is nevertheless possible to achieve.
From my perspective I am not a supporter of "coming out" of Polyamorists for a number of reasons:
- "Coming out" as a group immediately acknowledges there is a need to "come out." Surely there is a need for control groups, like monogamists to "come in." Naturists for example are already out . Clothing optional is their mantra when faced by control group's pressure.
- "Coming out" as a Polyamorist group supports the current social/cultural model of duality (Them & us) and will lead to classical conflict between the competing interests. Why compete? Why not cooperate and lead by example?
- Polyamory by its current definition is about loving more. Loving more is not something that demands others to love less. Monogamists see polyamory as an attack on their values and thus a call to arms to "defeat" the enemy. Is that what we hope to achieve by wanting to love more?
- My personal world view defines polyamory as choosing to love anyone free from the fear of control by that person or any other group of persons.
- Politicizing a cause, that is what organizing group action is, is subscribing to the current control model of "the many by the few" and I want no part of that.
My view is that the prevailing Western influenced monogamy/heterosexual marriage law needs repealing. Not to allow different classes of individuals to legally commit to marriage but to remove the need for marriage in the first place. Let natural law prevail as it will in any case (Witness the divorce rate).
I have many other reasons but they are probably off topic so I will leave my views as above.
Love & peace,