View Single Post
Old 09-24-2010, 09:07 AM
nto nto is offline
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 10

I have talked to them about it. The problem that I am running into as I think more about it (Everyone's given me so much to think about) is that I am not allowing myself a choice. I know it bothers me some in itself. But it's amplified by the fact that I have to tolerate it. I can't in all fairness say "Nope. I am vetoing all men." And since I can't, I HAVE to deal with it. Whether I like it or not. I have to force myself to be ok, because to do otherwise is unfair. I have backed myself into a corner, which causes anxiety attacks in me.

As for what I need to hear... "Nevermind." Which really isn't fair to ask. The hostility and anxiety and rage doesn't go away from much else. I know it's probably a leftover from the traditional mono mindset, but what do I do with it? I am too angry to be calmed by much else. It doesn't do a lot of good to be hugged, or told that I am loved when I feel sick and am clenching and unclenching my fists. There's not a lot that helps when an anxiety attack is full on screaming in my brain short of removing the cause. Which doesn't help me learn to deal with it.
Reply With Quote